Dancing With The Stars – week 4, season 9 by Phillip Stephens

Commentary by  Phillip Stephens | 713-248-2299

This week is a testament to the versatility of the pros who have worked for years to develop their talent in Ballroom and Latin dancing. Doing Charleston, Lambada and Two-step is a stretch for them, but they will – as always – rise to the challenge.

Louis Van Amstell's Joel Grey makeup had him looking ready for a Dracula movie - should they have waited a couple of weeks for that outfit? Louie Vito will NEVER make a convincing cowboy. Dmitry needs thicker shirt fabric - hard to picture him as a sexy and swarthy Latino in that odd-colored shirt. Mark Ballas looked like a rather odd Charlie Chaplin - that mustache was the size of Rhode Island!

Chuck Lidell & Anna Trebunskaya – Two-step
The best think I can say is that it looked like they had fun learning the routine. Chuck certainly looks better in Jeans and vest than in all those ruffles from week 3's Samba. Anna’s dress didn’t look all that C&W to me. Chuck is still painful to watch. His timing is just not there. At least his “clonky" footwork fit the dance. The lifts looked good, but, well, Anna knows how to get into them, pose in them and get out of them. I – Like Michael Schedler – must wonder where was the Two-step in that routine? 15 points?
Len – liked the lifts. Brings entertainment to the show. Must improve the quality of the dance.
Bruno – brings carnage and mayhem to everything he does. He still made it look like Two-step??? (Bruno evidently has NOT been to a Texas C&W dance hall!)
Carrie Ann – May not have much grace, but doesn’t let the dance beat him.
6+5+6 = 17 – generous, in a way.

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas – Charleston
Great “old time movie” effect. Very entertaining. Lots of “schmultzie” showbiz action. She really danced her heart out in this one. A VERY energetic and attention-getting number with lots of pizzazz. I’d give this one 28-30 points, and will be disappointed if she doesn’t get 27 points minimum
Bruno – brought 20’s back to life
Carrie Ann – this is your dance – take it on the road.
Len – got everything right in that routine.
9+9+10 = 28

Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo – Bolero
Odd that they had to do this one so soon after dancing the Rumba. The brown coat at the beginning added nothing to the mood-theme-character of the routine. She did some lovely tricks and made some beautiful lines, but was fairly stiff and awkward looking in many of her movements, and was pretty much totally lacking in Bolero basics. It was sensuous. Possibly 18 points.
Carrie Ann – Saw a struggle
Len – thought it created great moments in the dance, but would like to see more connection between the dancers.
Bruno – Swimming mode with arms sort of spoiled the mood.
8+8+8 = 24, which is too high for this routine

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff – Lambada
Why do they insist on so many death-defying tricks instead of down to earth dancing??? I don’t really know what that was, but it didn’t look like Lambada. It was more like almost-rhythmic gyrations with flailing arms and really weird leg actions assisted by having taken too much speed. I agree with Michael Schedler – they nailed the entrance and it went downhill from there. The judges seem to like him a lot more than I do so, while I'd not give that but about 16 or 17 points, he’ll probably score well, possibly 21 points?
Len – Walk on wild side. Should have spent time on rhythm of the dance. Not enough raunch in it.
Bruno – Agreed with Len. Must transfer a feeling for the dance through the body
Carrie Ann – Aaron needs to chill out. He’s hard to watch because he tries too hard and that puts people off.
6+6+6 = 18 – a surprisingly low but accurate score

Mark Ducoscos & Lacey Schwimmer – Two-step
First lift was effortless looking. His timing is still just a bit odd, but he certainly got some rhythm going and connected better with Lacey. He really just let go and performed that routine. I think - if Lacey will just teach the man how to dance - they could do well in the contest. I’d give this one around 21 points
Bruno – liked it, though he noticed he lost his footing.
Carrie Ann – Saw the confidence, connection and grounding.
Len – liked the choreography. Mark was really helping, though the footwork was a bit heavy at times.
8+7+7 = 22 – a point better than I anticipated.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstell – Charleston
Liza Minnelli / Joel Grey take-off – Cabaret.
Fabulous! She let herself go with abandon, really put energy into that performance. A few bobbles, but not too noticeable. Her expressions and body language were “spot on”! I’d give this 27, easy
Carrie Ann – Like watching a little birdie learn to fly
Len – very well done
Bruno – Loved the Bob Fossie touches
8+7+8 = 23 – she got cheated!

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough – Lambada
Derek should have left the shirt on. I know they were going for an Island Cruise look, but that look just doesn’t suit my idea of dance on television. The routine was good with some nice lifts, but he almost lost her at the end. I’d give this a 24, but judges may go higher.
Len – Derek never disappoints with choreography. A bit of repetition
Bruno – Had enough sexual energy for the next 6 months
Carrie Ann – Hoped the kids were in bed – Tom B. said he bets some of the adults are now.
9+8+9 = 26 - rather low scores after all the praise heaped on them for their performance.
Note: I think it's entirely possible to dance in a tasteful manner that suggests and hints at what may happen once the couple leaves the dance floor without being so uncouth as to get into the graphics of the story while still on the dance floor. It's a shame so few of these pros have had any training in proper decorum.

Donny Osmond and Kym Johnson – Charleston
His childish crying while pounding on the floor was a bit silly for a man of his age. Well, for anyone over the age of 4, truth be told. The choreography seemed to fit the music well and they both did a fun-tastic job and superbly synchronized job of performing it. Donny looked very relaxed and not “in his head”. I don't know if she had help or did it all on her own, but Kym certainly put together some very difficult and demanding choreography in that routine. A brilliant performance – especially for a man his age! Deserves at least 27 points.
Bruno – A showman in his element
Carrie Ann – noted how they were in sync, but also noted when they weren’t
Len – Danced well, looked good.
8+8+8 = 24. As happened with Joanna, the low scores don’t match the judges' "high praise" comments.

Michael Irvin & Ana Demidova – Bolero
A lot of posing and arm lines while she danced, but he did no discernable Bolero. Though we must admit that Ana has a pig’s ear to work with, Michael Schedler and I agree: She should have at least included some authentic Bolero for Mr Irvin to dance in the routine. Neither of them danced anything that could be called Bolero, so what was the point of having World Champion Bolero dancer Tony Dovolani coach them? 14 at best
Carrie Ann – saw the romance side, but there wasn’t enough dancing, too many poses (I'm so glad she was aware enough to catch that!)
Len – Michael was slightly economic with the movement, but lots of improvement. He will give him better marks tonight. (Why? Because he posed nicely?)
Bruno – he works hard, but there isn’t any improvement. (Bruno got one right!)
5+6+5 = 16, which is about right for judging the poses, but a bit high if judging it on being a Bolero.

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower – Two-step
His hair looked groomed again. The stint with Ty Murray was great. Louie actually looked good in the western gear. He did something that resembled a beginner doing a ver cautious version of the dance. No arm lines and no body rhythm. It was typical country from the perspective that the gal did all the spinning and the guy did all the walking. 16 points maximum
Len – a series of walks, stopped, then Chelsie did something (Brilliant comments, yes?
Bruno – Louie was a bit confused looking (the boy never heard of ballroom dancing before his agent twisted his arm to be on this show - whadaya expect?)
Carrie Ann – didn’t see any of the music coming through Louie (True - he was just an anchor for Chelsie's spins & tricks)
Michael Schedler and I agree with everything the judges said on that one.
5+5+6 = 16. A-OK for that routine and performance.

Mya & Dmitry – Lambada
Dmitry feels that simple choreography is boring. I think he needs to learn how to make it exciting. His Lambada looked a bit like a cross between Cha-Cha and Samba to me. Mya is a good dancer with lots of potential, but it certainly wasn't developed in that routine. If she wants to start doing the choreography, she better come up with something better than that load of bull chips. I don’t really like the legs-wrapped around the guy - gal leans back lift. Not all that great to me. But the judges like her and I expect her to get 27 or so points.
Bruno – exuberant as always.
Carrie Ann – Amazing. Sexy & raunchy but classy?
Len – Never feels that she will do badly.
10+8+10 = 28 – not bad. She performed well, no matter what I think of Dmitry and his overworked choreography


Chuck Lidell got booted off. I agree with Yvonne Kubicek's brother in that it would be nice to boot off several of the bad dancers all in one show and have a real contest between the remaining contestants. Unfortunately, we didn't get to set the rules so must just suffer the bad with the good.

Happy Dancing
and remember

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